


Why Don't You Stay?

by vespergray



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-26 03:39:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/646145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vespergray/pseuds/vespergray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eve has been doing this with Bond for years- she knows he'll never stay, not even for the love of their daughter. But she can't give him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Eve had once helped James shave. She had joked that he was putting his life in her hands. It was probably the closest James had ever come to completely trusting her.

Eve pretended that shooting him hadn't bothered her, but it shook her to her core. All those weeks she had thought he was dead...she went around doubting herself, hating herself. She had killed before; it was a job requirement at MI6. But killing a co-worker, and a person at times she could even call a friend, was vastly different. Even when she found out he was alive, she couldn't shake the negative feeling she had about fieldwork.

So she became a secretary. It was good work, with good pay and benefits. She liked M, liked Q, like the field agents...especially Bond.

It started out as flirting- doesn't it always? Quips and jokes and sexual tension. Then it became quickies in hotel rooms. Then overnight bouts of sex in her flat.

She would never call them boyfriend and girlfriend- it was sex. They respected each other, liked each other, could talk to each other. But it wasn't a relationship.

When she finally confessed to Q what was going on, she phrased it as "friends with benefits". Q had simply stared at her with a raised eyebrow. She knew what he was thinking- that it sounded like she was in love with 007, and he was...well, he was 007. Love wasn't a option for him.

She didn't mean to get pregnant. It wasn't anything planned, or even anything she had thought about seriously. She liked being able to play the field- she dated when she wanted, when she wanted. Casual sex was par for the course. She had always been careful. But she forgot to go get her shot and then...she was staring at the lines on a pregnancy test.

She remembered throwing the test in the garbage and screaming her head off in despair. She knew it was Bond's, because she hadn't had sex with another man in months. Bond was away on a mission and she found herself in a huge mess.

She almost went and had an abortion several times. But her Catholic guilt, long stowed away and forgotten about, reared its ugly head. She couldn't do it. And as the days went by, she became more and more attached to her unborn baby. She decided to keep it.

When Bond came back from his mission, she gritted her teeth and told him. She explained all she wanted from him was a fair amount of child support- after all, a secretary's salary only goes so far. He didn't have to see her or the baby if he didn't want to, she said.

She had never seen Bond speechless, but he was. He seemed so thrown off balance that he just keep nodding, agreeing to all of her terms. She saw him only a couple more times during her pregnancy, since he was on some mission in Africa. He always treated her with the utmost respect and courtesy- asking her if she needed anything, if she needed help with doctor's bills. She was rather impressed with this more mature side of James.

He was still out of the country when Christina was born. With the help of her mum, Eve set up the nursery and adjusted to life as a mother. When she returned to work, no one asked about who the father was or where he was. Everyone just assumed Christina was the by product of one of Eve's many one-night stands.

Q knew, of course, and he must have been the one to tell Bond that the baby had been born. That was her only explanation when she opened the door one night several weeks after Christina's birth and saw Bond standing there.

"I thought you were in Africa," she said stupidly, feeling severely undressed in her night robe. James of course, looked good enough to eat in his suit.

"I just got back. May I see her?"

Eve's brow furrowed in surprise. "Sure. Come in." She led him down the hall to the baby's room. "She's sleeping but-," she was surprised when he thrust a yellow blanket in her arms. "Um..."

"I wasn't sure what to get. I bought it before I came over. Q suggested yellow." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"She'll love it." She tiptoed in the nursery. "Here she is. I named her Christina Eve Moneypenny." She hadn't put Bond on the birth certificate- easier to keep it a secret that way.

He examined Christina carefully. She was so small, so delicate. She looked so much like Eve it made him smile.

The smile made Eve draw in a sharp breath. It was a smile tinged with interest, amusement and something like...pride.

Eve and James went back to their old ways that night. He would come over now and again and they would have sex. He would spend time doting on Christina and bring her elaborate and expensive gifts. When he would go away on a mission, she wouldn't hear from him for several months. During that time, she knew he was screwing other women. And thought it hurt her heart, she knew she had to move on. She couldn't keep her heart locked up in a man that couldn't love her back.

So she dated, too. She tried to tell herself that James was only Christina's father, nothing more. She dated nice guys, guys with good jobs and houses. Guys that her mother loved, guys that could provide her with a stable life. But she couldn't ever really fall in love. Every time James showed back up, she fell right back in bed with him.

"Have you missed me?" those blue eyes would never stop making her weak in the knees.

"Hardly," she rolled her eyes, giving him a kiss. "But I'm glad you came." She was happy she was wearing her tightest dress and highest red high heels. He looked over her appreciatively.

"You look amazing." He pulled her next to his body and his muscles felt even harder than usual. His hand reached down to grope her ass.

"None of that." She shook a finger at him. "Christina is here."

"Good. I brought her something. It's in the hallway."

"Christina!" Eve yelled. "Come in here, love."

She watched as Christina ran into the room and straight into his arms. James exclaimed over how beautiful her dress was, twirling her around. Eve's chest felt heavy. James' charm was like a drug for all women, his daughter not excluded. Christina lived for his visits.

James scooped her up and left the kitchen. She heard them out in the hallway, chattering over the large dollhouse he had brought her. It was always gifts- expensive toys, dresses, games. He paid for the prestigious preschool she was attending. She let them have their time- after all, she had Christina all the time and Christina had her father around so rarely.

A while later, the nanny showed up (the actual nanny, not Q, who liked to boast that he was the most responsible babysitter for Christina, since he could give her mini science lessons). Eve and Bond exchanged a knowing look and Eve quickly arranged for the nanny to take Christina for the night. This was always the plan, and finally they were alone.

She didn't know how he always made her come. Something he did with his fingers. Or maybe it was the words he always mumbled against her skin when he was kissing his way down her body. Or maybe it was the way he moved when he was inside her. Whatever it was, it always worked.

After two rounds, they lay in bed, drinking together. He never talked about his missions. Sometimes he would complain about politics or the latest gadget Q had supplied him with. She told him all about Christina's school and how she had learned the alphabet.

She didn't like to think about their arrangement too much. Christina was still so little. She didn't realize her lack of a real father, one that was around on a day to day basis. Bond was around a few times a year and Christina treasured those visits. She thought her father was a banker- that was the lie Q and Eve had been feeding her for years. She was still too young to question why a banker would carry a gun on his person at all times and need to go on mysterious trips to the Middle East. Eve worried that one day, her daughter would grow up and feel a void. Feel unloved and unwanted by a man she worshipped.

She hoped James was willing to pay for therapy someday. She wasn't sure that mounds of gifts at Christmas and a few visits to the park would make up for all the nights he wasn't around.

He adored Christina. There was no doubt in Eve's mind that he loved his daughter, as much as he could, anyway. He wanted the best life for her. And Q had explained patiently to Eve once that maybe not having James around all the time was the best thing for Christina. After all, he was a trained killer with a volatile temper and a host of other issues, including alcoholism. Maybe his devotion and gifts and private school tuition were enough. Eve had to admit even to herself that Bond would never be able to handle Christina on his own.

"What are you thinking about?" He ran a finger down her bare spine.

"What?" she whispered, startled.

"You're lost in your own world. What are you thinking about?"

She propped herself up on an elbow and studied him. She wanted those eyes to run up and down her body forever. She wanted his breath on her skin, making her moan and yell out his name. She wanted him to fall in love with her every single time he looked at her, like she fell in love every single time she looked at him. She wanted things to not be so damn complicated. She wished she didn't love him with every single part of her body. She wished she didn't ache when he was away.

"You."

He smiled and she felt her heart break into little pieces once again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Uh oh, our Eve is falling too fast....

Eve woke up alone.

She blinked her eyes, slowly sitting up. She was disappointed, but not surprised. Sometimes he would stay the night and sometimes he would slip out, leaving just an expensive gift and a note behind.

She crawled out of bed, slipping on a white silk robe. She padded down the hallway, stretching. Why were you expecting him to still be here? You know how he is. It's his nature.

She poked her head in Christina's room and frowned. The pink fairytale cover was still on the bed, untouched. Usually Emily, the nanny, brought Christina home early in the morning and put her back to bed when Bond visited. Eve fished her phone out of her purse.

"Hello?" Emily answered.

"Emily, it's Eve. I was just wondering what time you are planning on bringing Christina home?"

"I already brought her home." She sounded puzzled.

Eve's heart stopped. "What? She's not here now." The panic bubbled up in her chest.

"Oh, her dad took her to breakfast."

Eve stopped. "What?"

"He said he didn't want to wake you. He said he was taking Christina to breakfast, so I went ahead and left. Do you need me to come back?"

"Uh...no, no. That's okay," Eve said, distracted. "I'll see you Monday."

Eve hung up and sank into a chair. James had never taken Christina anywhere on his own. Eve was always in tow, supervising. Did he even know of any breakfast places? The only thing he ever had for breakfast was vodka.

She got dressed, arguing with herself about whether to call. If James wanted to spend time with his daughter on his own, it seemed wrong to call and interfere. But at the same time, she wanted to call and see where they were.

Thankfully, her mental struggle was over a little while later when she heard them in the living room. James smiled when he saw her. "You're awake."

"Why didn't you get me up?" Eve scolded as she unwrapped Christina's coat.

"You were sleeping, so I thought Christina and I would get breakfast."

"I had waffles. And syrup," Christina announced.

"And...everything went fine?" Eve asked James.

He gave her a strange look. "Yes, why?"

Um, because you've never taken her anywhere before? "No reason. Shall we go to the park?"

"Yes!" Christina yelped, tugging on James' hand. "Can you go with us, Daddy?"

"Christina, Daddy probably has to go to work," Eve started to explain gently. It was easier to explain before Christina got so wound up.

"Of course I'll go with you, baby," James said. "Now put your jacket on so we can go."

Eve smiled. It was turning out to be a pretty good day.

They spent the whole day together. The park, the movies, pizza for dinner. After dinner, Eve expected him to go back to his flat. But he didn't. He stayed even after Christina was in bed.

He pulled her down on the bed, kissing her neck. "It's always sex and then running off with you," Eve laughed, kissing his forehead.

"Who says I'm running off?" he asked lightly, his hand reaching under the back of her shirt.

"Well, I..." she trailed off, unsure of a response. "Are you staying the night?"

"Yes. I need several hours to fuck you." He unsnapped her bra.

And he stayed. She scarcely believed it, even when he was sleeping soundly next to her. She knew her alarm was going to go off in just a few hours, but she wanted to savor every moment. It was almost like having a husband- a real family. When her alarm went off, he rolled over and looked at her. "What time do you have to be at MI6?"

"Two hours. I take Christina to school and then I report to work. What time do you have to be there?"

"This afternoon. I'm supposed to report to Q, then M for a report."

His words hung there, as if daring her to ask about his latest mission. Asking was dangerous. He would either brush her off with a joke or snap at her. She had learned it was better not to ask.

She nodded, sliding out of bed. She turned to find him putting on his suit. "What are you doing? Go back to bed. You have hours before you have to be there."

"I'm going with you to drop off Christina."

She wanted to shove him against the wall and tear his clothes off again. Something about that man in a tie...and that man actually acting like a normal person for once. "Maybe we can meet in the bathroom for a quickie during our lunch break."

"That's an actual reason to go to work," he agreed.

 

Bond and Eve walked Christina to her classroom. Eve wondered when was the last time Bond had stepped foot in a school- years, probably. Children darted about underfoot and he glanced around furtively, obviously biting his tongue.

Eve bent down and gave Christina a kiss. "Be good. Have a good day. Emily will pick you up this afternoon, all right?"

"Yes, Mummy," Christina replied politely. Her face positively lit up when James kissed her goodbye, too. They watched her run into the class.

"I think I want to stay for a while," James said, still watching Christina.

Eve's mouth went dry. "Stay? You mean with us?"

"Yes," James turned to look at her and the blue shined bright in his eyes.

"That'll be good," she said softly. And as they walked out, she felt the eyes of the other mothers on her, wondering who this gorgeous man was and how she got so lucky. And she wondered how she could feel so happy. "Let's go to work."

She tried warning herself that James wasn't built for domestic life. He was built for secret missions, shooting people, blowing things up. Not for playing house with Eve.

But it didn't work. She knew she was in over her head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)

James was a light sleeper. 

She had never noticed it before, but after sleeping in the same bed with him two weeks in a row, she became aware of it. He stirred at the smallest sound, climbing out of bed at all hours of the night. He kept a loaded gun right beside the bed. When she told him they had an alarm system, he laughed at her.

He made her late for work a couple of times. 00's weren't expected to report to MI6 until noon. She needed to be there at eight. But once they dropped off Christina at school, he always convinced her to go back home for “a minute”. That turned into an hour- since after the amazing sex she always had to have a shower. 

Work, pick up Christina, have dinner, have sex, lay in bed talking. They had almost a...routine? It was strange to have the words “James” and “routine” in the same sentence. The first few days she was leery of the situation. The next few she was tentatively comfortable. Then after a week, she stopped holding her breath. 

She knew he would have to jet off on some mission soon. But he made no plans of returning to his own flat. Instead he brought over all of his clothes, hanging them in her small closet. He had no interest in television or internet and instead of cooking, he wanted to go out for dinner every night. 

After Christina was asleep, he would run his fingers through Eve's hair as she talked. She confided in him. She told him her worries about not being taken seriously at work. She talked about her childhood, how she wanted better for Christina. He always listened. He never said anything. 

Until one night, he did. 

He placed a kiss on Eve's forehead and said, out of the blue, “We should take Christina on vacation.” 

“To where?” she asked, leaning into his kiss. 

“What about that place with all the fairy tale characters?” 

She stared at him blankly. “What place with all the...oh. You mean Disney World?” 

“Right.” 

“James, that's like a twelve hour flight away.”

“So? She would enjoy that. We can afford it.” 

Eve held her tongue. No matter what objections she had about anything, he always waved it off with “we can afford it”. Which wasn't exactly true. He could afford it. Eve couldn't. 

“That's a really long trip for a four year old, James.” 

He swung his gaze to her and she recoiled slightly, surprised by the icy seriousness in those blue eyes. “What?” 

“Why is it whenever I come up with something for Christina, you argue with me about it?” he stared at her intently. “You always have an excuse for why we shouldn't.” 

“That's not true,” she replied, but she had the nagging suspicion he was right. “It's just...that's a long trip, James. It's not exactly something we can throw together overnight.” 

“Did I suggest throwing it together at the last minute?” 

“I didn't think you could take off that much time from work just to go on holiday.” 

“I can ask for time off, the same as you.” 

“It's a lot of money.” 

“And I can handle it. You're still throwing out excuses, Eve.” 

“I'm her mother. I have to think these things over.” 

“I'm her father. I can make some decisions in her life.” 

Eve opened her mouth and then closed it. He's trying. He's really trying, and you won't give him a damn chance. Stop being afraid and let this happen. 

“I'm sorry,” she whispered after a long moment. “You're right. You're right.”

James was still watching her carefully, like he was trying to dig around in her brain. He finally nodded. “So we've agreed on taking a vacation?” 

“I guess so,” she laughed. “You're not going to spend the entire plane ride trolling for terrorists, right?” 

“I'll try not to. Can't make any promises.” 

 

 

At MI6 two days later, Q handed her a cup of coffee. “A vacation to Disney World. With Bond. You must be joking.” 

“I'm not,” Eve promised with a grin as she stirred in a teaspoon of sugar. “It was his idea. He said he wants to take Christina somewhere. We've both put in for time off, before he gets sent to Turkey or something.” 

“I'm just surprised he's stuck around this long.” 

“You and me both.” 

Q leaned against the counter, his face thoughtful. He tapped his spoon against his cup. “So...you think this is a good idea?” 

“What is a good idea?” Eve averted her eyes, playing with the hem of her skirt. 

“You know what. This...thing with Bond. Is it good for you? For Christina?” 

“I don't know.” Eve felt her doubts roll around in her stomach. “I don't know. But I'm happy with him. She's happy with him. He's trying, Q. He's trying really hard. He hasn't went out a single night in two weeks. I know he hasn't seen another woman.” 

“But that's two weeks, Eve. That's not the same as forever.” 

“I know that.” Eve's voice was testy. “Trust me, I know. I'm the one who had a kid with him. I think I know him fairly well.” 

They were quiet for a moment and Eve hated that. Q was her best friend. She knew he was thinking that she was making a mistake. And she hated that he couldn't understand. 

“I just think you should be careful,” he said at last. 

“Don't you think I am?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews! They keep me going and inspire me. Thank you thank you! :)

Eve decided two days into their vacation that the only people that could truly handle James were M and Christina. 

Disneyland Paris. Should be simple enough. But James hated lines. She found that out every time they had to stand in a line: for ice cream, for a ride, for a balloon. He complained about people standing too close to him. He shot death glares at anyone who came into his personal space. He snapped at the ride attendants. 

She knew it had to be hard for him. He was trained to constantly be on the look out for danger. He wasn't exactly trained to be a good daddy on vacation with his family. He was trying. She could see he was trying to experience everything through Christina's eyes. They never talked about, but she knew they were both trying to give her a better childhood than they had had. 

Christina handled him perfectly. She begged for ice creams and pink hats. She got them. She got tired and was promptly picked up and carried. 

Eve just wanted to watch. She watched every moment James spent with their daughter, soaking it up, storing it away. She watched them walk hand in hand everywhere. She watched him read fairy tales to her. She watched Christina fall asleep in his lap. 

She wasn't sure the exact moment she believed. She quit watching and worrying. She started living in the moment. Being a family. Believing it. Wanting it. 

They were a family. A real family. 

People would say things like “You're daughter is beautiful.” Women would smile at James, then drop their eyes when Eve would glare at them. She could almost pretend that her (boyfriend?) wasn't a spy, that they were married, that Christina was growing up in a two parent home. 

They were embracing the normalcy. Or maybe the normalcy was an escape in itself. 

Christina had some princess tea party to attend on their second day. They dropped her off, waving goodbye and blowing kisses. Then James grabbed Eve's hand and practically dragged her back to their hotel room. 

The had sex in the way that parents stealing a moment alone do: hurried, frantic, crazy. His hands were everywhere, all over her body. She was sweaty and clutching bits of his hair as he plunged inside of her. It was perfect. An hour later, they were perfectly dressed and smiling as they picked up Christina. 

Eve was happy. Too happy. 

Maybe that's why it happened. 

That night, Christina fell asleep in James' lap. Eve gently picked her up and laid her in the bed, covering her with her yellow blanket. “She's out,” she whispered, sweeping a lock of hair out of Christina's face. 

“Come to bed.” 

“I have to shower first,” she said, standing up. 

“Forget that. Shower in the morning. Come to bed,” he insisted. 

“I'm all dirty. I need a shower,” she laughed. 

“Vesper-,”

He stopped short, his face ashen. 

Eve stood still, her heart floundering about in her chest. Vesper. She knew who that was. She knew, without him ever telling her, how much Vesper had meant to him. She stared at him, unsure of what to say. 

The pleasant, easy, charming smile was back on his face. His facade. His mask. “I mean, Eve. Just come to bed.” 

She walked off and locked herself in the bathroom. She took a long shower. She thought and she thought. 

Why would he call me that? Is he still in love with her? Why hasn't he told me anything? Anything! Anything about his life. He doesn't say he loves me. Her thoughts whirled around and around. 

When she finally came to bed, he moved so that he was holding her. He smelled her skin and she could feel his smile. “Vanilla.” 

Any other night, she would smile and flirt back. But she laid there stiffly, her face buried in her pillow. 

He was quiet a minute. “What's wrong?” 

“Why did you call me that?” 

He sighed. “It was just a mistake, Eve. No big deal.” 

“It IS a big deal, James. It's a big deal to me. Do you still love her?” 

“She's dead.” 

“That's not what I asked. I asked if you still love her.” 

“No.” His voice was as sharp as glass. 

“But you still think about her.” 

“Every now and then. It's been a long time, Eve.” 

“Do you care about me?” 

“I don't know how you can even question that.” 

“You never say it, James!” 

“Look around you, Eve. I'm here. And you think I don't care about you?” 

“I think you love Christina.” 

“Christina isn't the only person I can love.” 

Eve closed her eyes and savored the words.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :)

Eve didn't want to fight with Q. She wasn't even sure how they ended up in a fight. He was her best friend, her closest coworker, and Christina's godfather. Fighting with him wasn't at the top of her list of priorities. 

But somehow, it ended up happening anyway. A month after they returned from vacation, a thought began brewing in Eve's head. A thought she couldn't tell anyone- except her best friend. Except Q. 

When they came back from vacation, they settled back into their tentative domesticity. They took Christina to school, came home, ate dinner, had the whole family thing. Christina was over the moon. Bond took her to dance classes and resisted flirting with the gorgeous, seven-foot-tall ballet instructor. 

Eve was a woman. She couldn't help buying in. She couldn't help the dreams. She couldn't help the plans she began forming in her brain. Everything was too good NOT to dream big. 

Bond was called out on a mission. She was tense as he packed, nervous about losing him for several weeks. But he kissed her goodbye on the way out, a kiss she could believe in. “I'll be back in a couple of weeks, sweetheart.” 

She could clung to those words. She replayed them in her head whenever she got lonely. She thought about his words when sat at ballet practice, alone, watching Christina.

“I'll be back in a couple of weeks, sweetheart.” 

She thought about the last time they had sex, on the hallway floor before he left. She remembered the way his fingers had slipped between her thighs as he had thrust inside her. How hot it had made her. How wet she was, even after he had left. 

Her cheeks flushed and she glanced around furtively, like she was afraid the other parents could read her thoughts. Of course they were in their own world, chatting and talking. A lot of the mothers had their husbands there. 

Like I did last week, Eve sighed inwardly. A week ago she had had the best looking boyfriend there. Someone to sit beside her and help cheer Christina on. She was lonely- but she knew in a few weeks, Bond would be sitting beside her again. 

When practice was over, she held a wiggling Christina by the hand as she called Q. “Want to come over for dinner? I'm ordering Chinese.” 

“I'll bring the wine.” 

 

 

Eve closed the door to Christina's room and walked back into the living room just as Q poured another glass of wine. “You know me so well,” she smirked as she sat down to her now full glass. 

“She's asleep?” Q leaned back against the couch. 

“Out like a light. Way too much sugar today. She was excited to see you.” 

“It's been awhile,” he nodded. 

“Why haven't you come over lately? I've missed our wine and trash talking everyone at MI6,” she grinned. 

Q fiddled with his fork. “Well...I suppose it's because Bond practically lives here now.” 

“You can still come over, you know. Bond or no Bond.” 

“I figured you would be all wrapped up in each other.” 

She lifted an eyebrow. 

He grinned. “That came out sounding worse than I expected. You know what I mean.” 

“Well, he'll be gone for another week, so you should come over every night and we'll do this whole thing.” 

“Are things still going well with him here?” 

She closed her eyes, relishing her words. “In a word: yes.” 

“That good, huh?” 

“Save the skeptical voice for another time, Q. It's been going so, so, so well. It's like...we're a family. It's so normal.” She sucked in her lower lip. “I'm thinking about having another baby.” 

Q nearly choked on his sesame chicken. “Excuse me?” 

“I'm thinking of having another baby.” 

“That's what I thought you said,” Q groaned. “I was just hoping I had heard you wrong and you hadn't actually lost your mind.” 

“I haven't lost my mind.” 

“You have! Another baby? With Bond? Right now?”

“Yesssss. You know I want more kids...I'm not getting any younger. I can't exactly wait around another ten years to have another. I don't want her to be an only child like I was. She'd be great with a younger sibling.” 

“It's not Christina that I'm worried about. And Bond wants another baby right now?” 

“Well...” Eve trailed off. 

“You haven't asked him!” Q accused. 

“No, but I'm going to. When he gets back. I'm not going to spring it on him or anything.” 

“And if he says no?” 

“Then I won't have one. But I really think he'll say yes, Q. I think we're in a good place right now.” 

“You're not even married.” 

“Since when did you get so traditional?” Eve huffed. 

“You don't have to get married. But Eve, you've had a few good months with Bond. That doesn't mean you should run off and have more kids with him. He's great to Christina right now. But who knows where he will be in six months?” 

Eve had expected Q's reaction, but she couldn't help getting angry anyway. “You could be a little more supportive.” 

“I could, but then I would be lying to you. It's a bad idea. Deep in your heart, you know it is. You know how unreliable, unstable, irresponsible he is.” 

“He's changed, Q.” 

“How do you know? He's off in another country right now. You have no idea what he's up to.” 

“I trust him.” 

“That's new,” Q scoffed. “You never have before.” 

“He loves me. He loves Christina. I had to start trusting him sometime. You should see him with her. He adores her. He seems...happy. I've never seen him like this.” 

“It won't last.” 

“Why are you being so hateful?” Eve demanded with a glare. 

“I'm thinking about Christina. He drinks too much, he's here and there, he isn't good for her in the long term. She's what's important, not your feelings.” 

“You're not her father, Q!” Eve screamed. 

Q's eyes glazed over with hurt. He pursed his lips together, his face ashen. 

Eve couldn't stop. “You like to pretend you are, but you're not. He's her father. You can't make decisions over her life, over MY life. I'll do what I fucking please.” 

“That's obvious,” Q sneered as he stood up. “Do what you want. I don't fucking care. And don't speak to me tomorrow at work.” 

As soon as he slammed the door behind him, Eve threw her wine glass at the door in rage.


	6. Chapter 6

It really shouldn't have come as a surprise, Bond sleeping with another woman. 

But it did. It was a shock. An unexplainable shock. A blow that rocked Eve to her core. 

She thought she would have seen it coming. 

But she didn't. It happened and it hurt. 

What hurt even worse was that she had been so stupid. So bloody STUPID. 

She had convinced herself it was the fairy tale. That it would work.

It didn't. 

God, he didn't even DENY it. Eve had confronted him. His phone going off at all hours of the night. It wasn't work- he was always upfront about that- but a bunch of texts. From a woman. 

He had just come back from a mission. When she held up the phone and asked him, point blank, her heart in her hands, he just held his hands up helplessly. 

And then she knew. 

There was a million questions to ask. But all she could do was scream. 

Scream why, why, why did he do this? Why would he throw everything away they had? 

He tried to break in several times. It was odd, out of character for James to not take over the conversation. But he didn't. He let her shriek and yell and cry. He had no excuse. He had been on a mission and hooked up with a woman- a married woman, no less. His old type. 

It meant nothing. When he said that, Eve's heart cringed like her jaw. It meant EVERYTHING. It meant everything to their relationship. 

He left, with her a sobbing mess on the living room floor. 

That night, she packed up his things in a box and threw it in the back of her car. She left it on the front stoop of his flat. 

Christina was confused. She had gotten used to James living with them and suddenly, he was gone. Eve made up some vague story about James having to work and hoped Christina didn't notice she was a shell. A walking shell. 

She couldn't talk to Q, who was still mad at her. She went back to work the next day, scared to death she would run into James. If she saw him coming down the hall, she would duck into a room until he passed. She couldn't face him. She couldn't let him see how much she was hurting. 

She ignored his phone calls for three days. After she put Christina to bed every night, she would crawl into her own bed with one of his shirts. She could hold it to her face while she cried and could smell him, could almost feel him beside her. 

She hated herself almost as much as she hated him. 

On the fourth day, the roses arrived. Long stemmed. Beautiful. 

She hated those, too. 

On the fifth day, she answered his phone call. He wanted to see her. He wanted to see Christina. 

Eve knew that she couldn't see him without crying her eyes out. She had her mother drop Christina off at his flat. 

 

The days stretched on. 

She heard the door open in the middle of the night one night. Heart pounding, she reached for the gun in the nightstand. She heard the alarm get cut off and mouth went dry. James. It had to be. He knew the code. 

She stuffed his shirt under the pillow just as he walked in the room. 

He was gorgeous. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't he be ugly? Why did he have to break her heart and STILL be beautiful? 

“I had to see you.” his voice cut through the dark. 

“Why?” she held the sheet tighter to her chest. 

“I can't stop thinking about you. About us.” 

His mouth was on hers. She knew she should pull away. She knew she should stop. 

But she couldn't. His hand tugged her panties down and she could feel his erection pressing against her thigh. He was so hard and she was so wet and she couldn't stop. Because his mouth was sliding down her body and his tongue was pressing inside her and before she knew it, she was telling him to fuck her, to fuck her because she was about to come. His mouth was hot and he breathed air lightly on belly and she was sweating. 

She found herself on her knees, grasping on to her very nice headboard as he thrust inside her. He pushed in deep and then shallow, making her belly knot up. She could hear him talking but there was a dull roar in her ears, blocking it all out. She grabbed his hand and pressed it between her legs, showing his fingers where to go and where to press and...

The orgasm was so intense and warm it bordered on painful. She untangled herself from him and wiped the wet off her thighs, hating herself again. She just fucked the man who had broke her heart- let a man who cheated on her come inside her. 

She handed him his pants. “Leave.” 

“What?” he stared at her from the edge of the bed. 

“Put on your clothes and go.” He had to leave. She shouldn't have done it. She couldn't fall back in love with him again. He was too good at sex and he knew it. He knew he could waltz in and go down on her and she would want him back. She couldn't allow that. 

“Eve-,”

“No!” Her voice was cold. “This was just sex.” 

She added bitterly, “It was just sex for me. Go. It meant nothing.”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! Please let me know what you like. More fic will be coming your way in the next few days!
> 
> Now, can Bond keep promises? Hmm...not sure...I'll guess we'll find out in the next few chapters!

Eve was getting very good at not caring. 

Or at least, she was getting very good at pretending not to care. 

She allowed herself to believe that what was going on between her and James didn't mean anything. She made up with Q- they couldn't stay mad at each other for long, she loved him too much, plus they saw each other every freaking day- and told him that she didn't care. 

“You don't care,” he repeated, his eyes skeptical. “You don't care he broke your heart. You don't care about him at all.” 

“Right,” Eve nodded, taking Q's cup and swigging his Earl Grey. “This is like it was before. You know, before Christina was born. Just sex.”

“Friends with benefits.” His skeptical tone never wavered. 

“No,” she shook her head quickly. “We are definitely not friends. It's sex...on my terms. When I feel like it. With no friendship. No talking, really. He can see Christina. But I don't want to talk to him. He's...he's just my ex I sometimes I have sex with.” 

“That sounds stable,” Q snorted. “Give me my cup. I don't even want to think about where your mouth has been.” 

 

 

It was all about the quickies. With quickies, she didn't have to think about what she was doing. Or how angry she was. She didn't think about how lost she was inside. 

Ringing of the bell at her flat. James. She gave one last look in the mirror, fixed her eyeliner quickly. She leisurely walked to the door, determined to keep him waiting. 

They exchanged hellos and she let him in. “Christina is at dance class. You're early.” she watched him carefully. Clean shaven. New tie. New watch? 

“I've never been too good with times.” 

The silence stretched on and she bit her lip. No talking. Talking will lead to pain. Talking will lead to crying. Talking will lead to the...truth. 

She grabbed his coat and yanked him to her. Somehow, they were on the floor and they were tearing at each other and their clothes were everywhere...

She closed her eyes for a brief moment and he could feel his hand sliding inside her panties, his fingers lightly pressing inside her, his mouth on her neck. 

It was like something inside her broke and flooded her insides. Something just...just feel wrong. 

She knew she was crying and could feel him pulling away, questioning her. She hit him with her fists, her hands beating against his chest. She kept hitting and hitting and crying and hitting, her sobs wracking her whole body. 

James grabbed her arms, holding her away from him. “Eve. Eve! What's wrong?”

“I can't do this with you anymore!” she sobbed, shoving him one last time. “I can't keep doing this. I'm...I want to be with you and I know it can't work between us. I can't keep having sex with you and pretending everything is good when it isn't.” 

“You were the one-,”

“I know I bloody suggested it! It was a mistake. I just...I need space from you, James. I need us to be adults about this. I need you to be Christina's father and that's it. I can't...I can't do this with you. You're too hard for me to quit.” 

“Eve...” he helped her to the sofa. “Let's try again. Our relationship. We can make it better this time. I'll do better.” 

“No,” she shook her head. “No, James. I'm not...no. Please just respect what I'm saying. We need to move on. I need to move on. But I want you around. Our daughter needs you. Let's set up some kind of arrangement where you come by and see her. But nothing between us.” 

“Eve, this is ridiculous. What we have between us is something I'm not ready to give up on.” 

She steeled her resolve. “It's time for us to put it behind us, James. We have to be there for Christina. But me and you- we're done.” 

His blue eyes stared her down, as skeptical as Q's had been. 

“I'm serious,” she urged. She held out her hand. “No sex, no funny business, just parenting. I date other people, you date other people. Starting today. Deal?” 

The glint in those gorgeous blue eyes was way too devious for her liking. So was the grin on his face as he shook her hand. “Deal, Miss Moneypenny.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :) Please comment and let me know what you like!

Eve had spent most of her life avoiding dating men that her mother would like. 

But, she had to admit, her mum would like Gabriel. He was smart, good looking, had a good job. Never been married before, no children. He was one of MI6's accountants. Accepting his invitation to dinner had been easy. Surprisingly, going out with him a few more times had been easy. He was easy-going and sweet. He opened doors for her. He paid for the meals. 

She liked him. He just wasn't...

James. 

He didn't set every inch of her skin on fire the way James did. But it's all part of moving on, she told herself. Give yourself time. He's a nice guy. You need to move on, remember? 

He took her to a nice place for lunch that day. Christina was still at school, although Q or her mum had been keeping her at night when she went on dates with Gabriel. She knew James would keep Christina if she asked, but she wasn't ready to tell him she was seeing someone. 

She almost choked on her wine when James walked up to her table. “Eve,” his smile was as charming as always, but his eyes were unreadable behind his expensive sunglasses. “It's a surprise seeing you here.” 

The way he said it made it feel like it definitely WASN'T a surprise. “James,” she smiled nervously at Gabriel. “This is my date, Gabriel. Gabriel, this is James...Christina's father.” 

The two men shook hands, exchanging polite how-are-yous. Gabriel looked a little dazed, possibly because he recognized Bond from MI6. 

Eve wanted the awkwardness to be over. “Are you headed back to work?” she asked James pointedly. 

He nodded, his smile a little too...pleasant. “I'll be dropping by to see Christina later.” 

“All right,” she agreed quickly. “Bye.” 

He disappeared into the crowd and Eve turned back to Gabriel. “I recognize him from MI6. Is he an agent?” 

“Yes,” she nodded, fiddling with her earring. 

“How long were you two together?” 

“Oh, well...honestly, it was a fling that resulted in Christina. It wasn't really a relationship. He's great with her and we're friendly for her sake.” 

“He seems like a nice guy.” 

“He can be...but I'd rather talk about you,” she replied with a charming smile of her own. 

James was nowhere to be found, but Eve had the feeling the rest of lunch that he was watching her. Sure enough, when she kissed Gabriel goodbye and headed to her car, she found James leaning against it. 

“James!” she groaned. “Are you following me now?” 

He cocked his head to the side. “If I hadn't been following you, I wouldn't have found out about your new boyfriend.” 

“How would you like it if I started following you around on your dates?” 

“Please do. And your welcome to join us for a threesome as well.” 

She hit him lightly as she unlocked her car. “You're unbelievable.” 

“What do you have in common with him? Isn't he like an accountant?” 

“How did you- James, did you have a background check run on him?” 

“I called in a favor just now. Unfortunately, he doesn't have any dark secrets I can hold against him.” 

She threw her hands up in the air. “You're not allowed to do background checks on the guys I date.” 

“Why not?” he shrugged. “If you want to date below you, that's fine with me...” 

“Date below me?! And I guess you're more on my level? Accountant might not be dangerous and mysterious, but it's a good job.” 

“I didn't realize accountants were important enough to not wear panties for. And yes, I think you should be with me.” 

“How did you know that?” she asked in amazement, adjusting the back of her skirt and ignoring his comment about being with him. “Is that something they taught you in 00 school? How to know if a girl has on panties?” 

“No, it's just a personal talent of mine.” 

 

 

 

“So, is this whole going away for the weekend thing a big step?” Q asked as he watched Eve pack her suitcase. 

“I'm not sure,” she held up a dress. “Would the green one be better?” 

“I like the red.” 

“Okay. Well, Gabriel said it would be a chance for us to get away and spend some time just the two of us. So it's a step, but who knows how big it is.” 

“And your mum is keeping Christina?” 

“At night. James is actually keeping her during the day.” 

“Whoa, whoa,” Q held up his hands. “Wait a minute. Bond knows you're going off with Gabriel? I thought you said he keeps trying to get you back with him?” 

“He does, but maybe he's finally coming around to the idea of me being with someone. He made a bunch of sarcastic comments about the whole thing, but I think he's looking forward to the time with Christina. He would have taken her for the whole two days, but it's just easier if my mum keeps her here at night, keep her in her routine and all.” 

“Your mum still over the moon about Gabriel?” Q laughed.

“Oh, yes. She wants me to marry him as soon as possible. She was never a huge fan of James. She wants to act like she's all progressive and everything, but I'm pretty sure the number one reason she was never been big on James is because he's white and she's always wanted me with a black guy. So, Gabriel is more up her alley.” 

“I'm surprised James didn't turn on the charm and make her like him.” 

“He tried, but I think her internal racism was stronger,” Eve laughed. “Here, which pair of shoes?” 

“Those. What do YOU think about Gabriel?” 

She bit her lip, thinking. “He's very nice. Sweet, smart...he likes a lot of normal things. Like drinking wine or watching movies. But I still...” 

“Miss James,” he finished for her. 

“Exactly. It's like I can't stop missing him. Plus, he's around a lot, for Christina.” 

“I think the most important question is: how is the sex with Gabriel?” 

“It's fine.” 

Q made a face. “That awful?” 

“No, it's not awful at all. It's fine, it's good. It's just that...I'm not used to having to...train a guy again, you know? I forgot it's like that with most guys. You have to tell them what to do, point them in the right direction. With James, I don't have to remind him where my clit is and what to do with it.” 

“Gabriel probably hasn't been with hundreds of women, either,” Q pointed out. 

“Yes, I know.” She closed her eyes. “Thanks for reminding me the father of my child has probably been with hundreds of women. Also, Gabriel hasn't went down on me once.” 

“Ah, we come to the real problem here!” Q laughed. “It has nothing to do with his skills, it's that he doesn't provide an adequate amount of head.” 

“Oh, shut up!” she couldn't help laughing.

“So why don't you just ask him to do it? James did it all the time for you, didn't he?” 

“Because asking him would be awkward. I never had to ask James, he just knew how to do it. Some guys just don't like doing it, ever. What if Gabriel's like that?” 

Q shrugged. “You should just ask him. Maybe he doesn't know how to initiate it.” 

“Maybe.” Eve shrugged. 

“So beyond the oral situation, do you have fun with him?” 

“Sure.” She shrugged again. “I just can't seem to get James out of my head. And not just the sex either...just being with him. I told him things I've never told any man...I told him about my past, about being sexually abused, about my heart being broken in college so bad I never thought I'd date again...I opened up to him. I guess I'm afraid to open up again.” 

Q mulled over her words. “Maybe it's time to start trying to open up to someone else. Or...” he slid an arm around her shoulders, “make a decision if you even want to be with someone else. To decide between him or James. You have a weekend to really spend with this guy, to see what he's really like. Then maybe you'll know.” 

“How did you get so wise, Q?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eve has a decision to make, doesn't she? :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :) Yay for the new Bond movie and the RETURN OF BOND!

Gabriel hadn't wanted her to bring her cell phone. He said she was too addicted to it and they needed time together, alone, just the two of them. 

Eve wasn't having any of that. 

“I'm a mum,” she insisted stubbornly. “I have to have my phone. In case my daughter needs me. I'll only check it every couple of hours.” 

The room they were staying in was lovely. Fireplace. Big windows. Big bed. 

He said all the right things. He was funny, charming, sweet, complimentary. It was all perfect...

But for some reason, Eve found herself getting really drunk. She usually had two drinks and was done. But she kept drinking...and drinking...and drinking...

The drunker she got, the better Gabriel seemed. 

Forget Bond, her mind whispered. This guy is great. He has a normal job. He thinks you're the hottest thing that's ever walked the earth. He's not bad looking himself. So he doesn't make your legs feel like putty, but where has that ever gotten you? 

She was so drunk that the night seemed like a blur. The next thing she knew Gabriel was snoring next to her on those gorgeous 350 count sheets. 

She was restless. She grabbed her phone and wandered into the huge bathroom, dialing Q's number. 

“Moneypenny?” 

“Hey!” she giggled as she admired herself in the mirror. “Did I wake you up?”

“No. I thought you were having your romantic weekend?”

“Yes, yes. He's asleep now, though. I wore him out.” 

“Er...wonderful. Are you drunk?” 

“What?” she asked, twirling around as she watched herself in the mirror. 

“I repeat- are you drunk?” 

She huffed. “NO.” 

“Yes, you are. You need to go to bed and sleep it off.” 

“Yes, Mum. Actually, I am looking really hot tonight-,” 

“And very humble, too,” he remarked dryly. 

“Shut up. I'm thinking I'm going to send a picture to Bond-,” 

“Er, Moneypenny-,” 

“So he can see how good I look-,” 

“Really not a good idea-,” 

“And see what he is missing-,” 

“Hello?! You're in a hotel room with another man. Really not the time to be thinking about Bond and making him jealous. You ABSOLUTELY need to go to bed. You're going to wake up with one vicious hangover in the morning.” 

She groaned. “You are such a killjoy.” 

“Stay away from your phone and go to bed. Now. Quartermaster's orders.” 

She hung up and ran a hand through her hair. “Maybe he's right,” she murmured aloud. “I probably should go to bed.” 

But she couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned, her mind continually running back to James. And even when she slept, she dreamed of piercing blue eyes. 

 

 

Like Q predicted, she woke up with the world's worst headache. She slapped on a pair of sunglasses and choked down some medicine, praying that the pain would be over soon. 

Gabriel seemed almost irrationally angry that she was so sick. “You shouldn't have drank so much,” he lectured as she cradled her head in her hands. 

“Yes, I realize that now,” she bit out. “But as you can see, it's a little late.” 

“Some weekend this is!” he threw up his hands. “Last night was great and today is completely shot because you decided to act like a twit and get wasted last night.” 

She pursed her lips. “I didn't decide to be hung over all day today, you know. It wasn't like I planned to ruin your weekend.” 

“I don't understand you, Eve. You say you want to get away and have some time alone. But as soon as we get alone, you get so drunk that you can barely stand. It's like you're never WITH me. You're always a million miles away, even when you are right next to me.” 

He was yelling and she was pissed. She knew he was at least a little bit right, but she couldn't say that. She didn't understand it herself. Why couldn't she relax? Why didn't she want to get closer to him?

Why couldn't she stop thinking about James?

They fought for an hour. She ended up grabbing her bag and storming out, taking a taxi all the way back to James' flat. 

She was still fuming over the complete collapse of her current relationship when she opened the door and walked into James' flat. 

Oddly enough, he kept his door unlocked often. License to kill apparently didn't also come with paranoia. 

She went barreling into the kitchen when she collided into James- a delicious looking James. His tie was loose around his neck, his jeans were tight enough to be interesting, and his hand was holding a gun. It was like every moist dream she had ever had. 

Her head began pounding like a drum. Stop looking at him, she ordered herself. He's the ex. You can't drool over your ex. 

He quickly tucked the gun into the waistband of his pants. 

“Thank you for not killing me,” she said dryly, trying to shake herself out of her thoughts. 

“I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow. Christina and I were taking a nap.” 

She reached up and fingered the loose tie around his neck. “I see that.” 

His brow furrowed. “What happened, Eve?” 

“We broke up,” she said shortly. “Once she finishes her nap, I can take her home.” 

“Just stay here.” his eyes were drilling into her and all she wanted to do was collapse into his arms and take a nap too. “You look exhausted.” 

“I had about ten times too much tequila last night,” she admitted. “My head is either going to explode or I'm going to vomit. I don't want to take the chance of doing that on your nice white carpet, so I need to take Christina and go back home.” 

“No.” 

Eve's patience had run out. “What do you mean, no?” 

“No. You can lay down here for a while and I'll drive you home later. You're in no condition to go running around London with my daughter.” 

“YOUR daughter?! She's my daughter, too! I had her! Twelve hours of labor, no epidural-,” 

He was too quick. He had her picked up before she could protest, his strong arms cradling her close to him. “Shut up, Eve.” 

She knew she could wiggle away- well possibly wiggle away, anyway- but she was too tired. Too sick. Too confused. 

She just let him carry her into the bedroom.


End file.
